When fertility treatments go bad

I've get silent on the issue of the newly born California octuplets for the past several days, waiting to get a better sense of the story to be sure I had my facts straight. Now that I do, I have to say something.

The whole situation disgusts me.

Let me be clear. Fertility treatments are a God-send for many women. This one included. Drugs like Comid or Letrozole, and treatments like IVF and IUI have made it possible for women who would have otherwise been unable to conceive have children that would have otherwise been impossible to conceive.

However, in recent years fertility treatments have increasingly cared more about a woman's unadulterated need for a baby than the health of her babies or the ethics of the situation. First, came a small but disturbing number of women in their fifties and sixties whom doctors assisted in conceiving through IVF. That any doctor would assist a woman past menopause conceive and give birth to a child is, in my opinion, the height of irresponsibility.

Now, however, we've moved to a whole new level of disturbing. The entire situation surrounding the octuplet mom is a horror show: already the mother of six children under eight, the never been married mom has used IVF to conceive all of her 14 children, all of whom are seven or under. Why did she do it? Her own mother thinks she has an unhealthy obsession. As for her, she says she did it to overcome her lonliness following a dysfunctional childhood. Guess what, lady? We all grew up in the nineties - we ALL had dysfunctional childhoods. And I can't think of a single dysfunction that fourteen babies will cure.

I am staunchly prochoice because I firmly believe that no woman should be forced to bear a child she does not want. But there is a flip side to the abortion debate, and this irresponsible and ridiculous woman has highlighted it - when it comes to fertility treatments, simply wanting children no matter the circumstances or the dangers is not reason enough to be medically induced to have them.

This is not to suggest that I believe there should be a limit on the number of children that can be brought into a family. However, a woman who insists on repeated IVF treatments that involve implanting an unethically large number of embryos for no other reason than her own gratification and despite the real health concerns that multiple births can entail is not a loving mother who simply wants a large family. She is disturbed and deluded and possibly mentally ill.

By the way - read the Today preview of the upcoming interview with the octuplet's mom again and notice the timeline. She says she tried unsuccessfully to conceive for seven years before trying her first IVF treatment to conceive her now seven year old. She's 33. Seven years plus seven years plus nine months. How old was she when she started this horror show? 17? 18?

The ungrateful

I'm not really sure I get the Hudson crash survivor's anger at United Airlines. Following a dual engine failure (a truly unforeseeable occurrence) brought on by a double bird strike (a common problem that plagues most airports, but not a particular fault of the airline), the heroic UA pilot carries out the first successful water landing in commercial airline history and saves every soul on board. After which UA quickly gives all the survivors $5000 checks to cover their lost luggage and offers them a year of upgrades on UA to boot. And these people are cranky about it? They walked away with their lives, $5000 bucks and champagne in first class for a year and they're pissed?

Seriously?

Notes from an inauguration

The absolute best rhetorical moment from today's inauguration also happened to be its last - the powerful and deeply felt prayer from civil rights leader Reverend Joseph Lowery, which ended with the following words:

Help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nation shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid; when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around -- (laughter) -- when yellow will be mellow -- (laughter) -- when the red man can get ahead, man -- (laughter) -- and when white will embrace what is right.

Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen.

Rev. Lowery's words did more than any mere lip service to the civil rights movement to viscerally remind us how far we've come in this country in the short forty years since Rev. Martin Luther King's death. At the same time, it was a moment of blessed levity in an otherwise sobering speech which made a needed but sobering call for personal responsibility. And like the flub of the oath of office by an obviously nervous Chief Justice Roberts, it was a glimpse of absolute genuine-ness that disarmed all the pomp and circumstance and made the moment that much more powerful for its humanity. I loved it.

Amid all this, it occurred to me that this may have been the first time in my life when I purposefully watched an inauguration live. I must have seen bits and pieces of inaugurations past on television after the fact. Undoubtedly I watched at least one inauguration under duress as a student. But never have I made the decision to watch an inauguration live of my own volition. Never even felt a desire to before. And this one I watched start to finish - poorly read poetry and all. (God bless the inaugural poet for writing what would have otherwise been a lovely poem that she was inexplicably unable to imbue with any kind of passion in its reading.)

Credit to Crooks and Liars for the transcript.

There's never been a better reason to wax

Congratulations to President-Elect Obama on his upcoming inauguration, and to President Bush on getting the hell out of DC. Let's help him celebrate, ladies!

This New York spa has a few ideas....

Don't mess with the British

Even were they to be entirely destroyed by a nuclear attack, down to the last man, this article from Slate makes clear that the British have made sure they will have the opportunity to have the last laugh.

The fascinating part is that there's at least a chance that they would choose not to use it, even in the proven event of their own demise.

How spectacularly stiff upper lip of them, doncha think?

Now that's classy...

This was obviously an accident on the military's part, but what an accident to make. As much as has been made over publishing the names of the military fallen - remember the uproar that accompanied Ted Koppel's decision to devote one full episode to Nightline to simply reading the names of the Iraq dead? - you would think that the military would have less of a tin ear regarding the importance of these men's and women's names.

Another horror of war

The Army is investigating a cluster of suicides in a recruiting battalion in Houston - four recruiters have committed suicide within the battalion in the last seven years. This NPR story on the investigation is utterly horrifying in the desperation it reveals: combat veterans, many diagnosed with PTSD, forced into recruiting positions where they must paint the best possible picture of the military and war to encourage young men and women to join.

That's not to say that the military can't offer a good life and a host of benefits to many men and women. For my husband, now an Army captain, being an officer in the Army was almost all he ever wanted to do. He enjoys his job, he's good at it, and the job security and benefits are a lifeline in this economy. He is also preparing for his second tour in Iraq. For us, the balance of benefit vs. risk as part of the military is something that we negotiate almost daily. When that balance tips permanently into the risk category, we'll happily move on to another occupation.

However, how can recruiters be expected to explain that negotiation to the teenagers they recruit, all while they are being haunted by night terrors or other remembrances of their recent time in combat? How can they be expected to meet a quota?

Just another pieceof evidence that suggests that the all volunteer military is no longer a feasible proposition.